Living Life in Golden Hues

peterdrabbit:

An abundance
of line breaks
Does not a good poem
make

(via eyever)

Happy Birthday, Jena!

I have a friendship that is hard, and complicated, and confusing, and messy, and rewarding, and bright, and joyful, and mutually beneficial.  It makes me feel understood, and contrarian, it makes me feel unalone, it makes me feel accepted despite my flaws and shortcomings, and it makes me feel loved and valued.  

It can be easy to be friends with people that are like you.  It can be simple and joyous and uncomplicated.  I have many friendships like that, that I value beyond measure, but they haven’t shaped me in any way like my friendship with my darling friend Jena has. 

Jena, I think, would be the first to agree that we are very different people, but would also be the first to defend our sameness.  We are both champions of kindness (often she does a better job here than I do), we are both intensely aware of the way our actions effect other people, we are both academic, we are both caring, we are both competitive, and we are both clever.  We enjoy the same things, we are both introverted, we both value trust above most all else. But we see the world differently.  Jena is devoutly Christian, I don’t know where I stand with religion and faith, Jena is more conservative in her actions, I can be a wildcard.  Politically we have some differences, though they seem to be shrinking.  Over the years we’ve grown to be more like one another in some ways and less like one another in other ways. 

But I am so appreciative of those differences, not for the fights they caused (and there were many), not for the challenges they presented, and the roadblocks they erected, not for the things they caused me to say, or the way they made me treat my friend on the bad days, but for the way they forced me to stretch my mind and understand my own flaws, and the flaws of people around me.  They made me understand that even though I may be stubborn, and harsh, and disagreeable, and combative, and dramatic, and pretentious I am still worthy of love and acceptance.  It made me understand that people who approach the world with love and kindness at heart, even if they do it differently than I would, are good and not inherently wrong.  It made me understand that friendship is not hinged upon sameness but upon togetherness and growth.  

I have come to better understand myself by being friends with someone who has supported me through my ugliest times, and I am a better person for knowing Jena. She is endlessly supportive, outreaching, and kind. Today is her birthday, we’ve been friends for four and a half years, and I know for a fact that I would be unrecognizable today without her friendship. I have her to thank for some of the best parts of my personality, and my widely opened eyes.  

Thanks, Jen. Sincerely, for the good times and the bad. 

I am one dialogue, one more exam, two more papers, and three days away from summer break and living with my dog again. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I don’t feel like doing any of the work SO hit me up homessss

black and blue skies for

end of the year to-do’s

It always seems to storm 

when finals roll through

the sky was black

and the sky was blue

and kids played on the playground

when the sun shined through

humidity hit us before

spring did, and spring

said she’d try better next time

moving boxes are floating

in flat and out full

I’m managing to be frenzied

and dull 

simultaneously

but woah, I was surprised 

by just how much I’d grow

and stay the same

i literally love my roommates and friends and oh my god what am i going to do in 8 days when they leave me for 3 months

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over the 20% by which I raised my grade

is it bad that when I get stressed about college I think about the stupidest, laziest person that I know with a degree and think “if they can do it, there’s no way in hell you’re failing”